


never found my home (till you came and took my hand)

by aletterinthenameofsanity



Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [24]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany), SKAM (France), SKAM (Italy), SKAM (Netherlands), SKAM (Norway), SKAM (Spain), SKAM Austin, Skam (Mexico), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: ALSO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE LOLA A HUG?, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Friendship, Lesbian Character of Color, POV Claire, after seeing the trailer for skamit s4 i am really optimistic, after the emotions of the last fic i'm giving y'all a reprieve here, claire/shay backstory, hey y'all i'm american this is finally my opportunity, me finally giving you the evens finishing the movie, please don't let me down skamit, so here's some wlw for y'all, so we're gonna do it w/ our final even, we gave Michaël and flora a backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletterinthenameofsanity/pseuds/aletterinthenameofsanity
Summary: Claire and Shay had proceeded to meet all of their counterparts and had learned, rather quickly, that Shay's parallel universe theory definitely had some weight to it as more than just a metaphor that Claire choreographed dances about.And now- Claire and Shay have a rather strange family, of sorts, here in Antwerp, all of these guys and girls who, despite their own cultural and personality differences, still have so much in common with Claire and Shay that it's both intense and comforting all at once.Here in Antwerp, Shay has really close friends, an almost new squad of sorts in Matteo and Flora. And Claire, well- she's still trying to find her place among them. She's trying to find a new set of friends that she gets as well as she did Tyler, back in Austin. It'd be nice to have her own set of friends here just like Shay does."So, arroz con pollo for lunch tomorrow?" Shay asks, nailing the accent."Sounds good to me," Claire says, smiling at Shay with a smile so fond she can practically hear Tyler teasing her for it.(Claire in Antwerp, getting to know her counterparts, finding friends, and finishing making a movie.)
Relationships: All of the Evens, Cristina "Cris" Soto Peña/Joana Bianchi Acosta, Elena Velasquez/Flora Alvarez, Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen, Lucas van Der Heijden/Michaël Claes, Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Niccolò Fares/Martino Rametta, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans, Shay Dixon/Claire Cho, Tyler Nunez & Claire Cho
Series: if this love is pain (then darling let's love tonight) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550230
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	never found my home (till you came and took my hand)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatPilotGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatPilotGirl/gifts).



> Title is from "Fading" by Alle Farben of Druck Season 3 finale fame.
> 
> A lot of this fic was written to "Shine A Light" by Banners, which will actually be referenced in the story itself, if you want a song to listen to that I think really works from Claire as a character. (Also, I totally think of as her and Shay's OHN song.)
> 
> Also, there are references towards the latter half of this fic to the Flora texting fic, where Flora's feelings of loneliness as a result of being the only Even not working on the movie were only exacerbated by her untreated depression and led to a bit of a mental spiral, with her getting advice from Lucas L, Even, and Matteo about how to deal with lashing out/therapist recommendations.
> 
> I guess I should probably continue the whole "character soundtrack" thing I started with the groupchat fics? I thought it was kind of fun and I don't know if anyone cared about it but here it is!  
> "Shine A Light" by Banners (aka Shay and Claire's OHN song)  
> "Home" by Hannes Gottwald & Sinan Hosgel (literal first song from the first clip of Skam Spain s3)  
> "1950" by King Princess

_Light will lead the way, will set you free_

_I'm only looking for a little peace_

_And when the night falls_

_Call on me_

_Just don't forget to show me some mercy_

_Cause I was lost at sea_

_While the waves were dragging me underneath_

_Say you're mine_

_Take me higher_

_Shine a light on me_

_**-Banners,** _ **Shine A Light**

Claire is not entirely sure how she, Elena, Nico, and Eliott all got unilaterally banned from the kitchens of everyone’s apartments, but it has created a rather interesting bond between the four of them as they often find themselves sitting somewhere together while Matteo, Flora, and occasionally Lucas are in the kitchen, in charge of the cooking.

“I’m not _that_ bad of a cook, y’know,” Elena says with a bit of a snort as she sits next to Nico on the floor of the corridor outside of Marti, Nico, and Lucas VDH's apartment. Claire and Nico are sitting on the other side and the four of them are playing cards, all of them having been banished from the kitchen. “I just made one unfortunate seasoning choice the _one_ time. Sure, it was Flora’s favorite food, but it was honestly _just_ the one time. I’m not that bad of a cook otherwise. Didn’t Even do the same thing?”

“Well, _your_ girlfriend is in charge of the kitchen,” Even says, poking his head out into the hallway. “Isak most definitely is not, so he doesn’t really have the power to ban me.” He gives the four of them a smile that on anybody else might actually seem smug before ducking back into Nico and Marti’s apartment.

Elena mock-glares at Even’s retreating back, using that all-too-familiar grumpy look of Shay’s that really belies Elena’s generally more cheery attitude. “No one asked you, Bech Naeshim.” She turns to Nico. “And besides, isn’t it _your_ apartment?”

Nico shrugs. Easily one of the most easy-going people that Claire has _ever_ met in her life, he's rather go-with-the-flow in a way that Claire sometimes finds hard to understand, as someone who prefers to know what's going on as much as possible. He's so easy to work with that when Matteo pointed a spatula at Nico and told him _not to step one centimeter closer to Matteo's stove or else_ , Nico had just shrugged and grabbed a pack of cards despite being well within his rights to protest that it's technically Nico and Marti's stove, not Matteo's.

“Anyway, your turn,” Eliott says, gesturing to the game of Sevens they’ve been playing in the corridor outside of Nico and Marti’s apartment. It’s late spring and _definitely_ not as warm as Austin, Mexico, or Italy- leading Claire, Elena, and Nico to be wearing jackets while Eliott is wearing short-sleeves, weather-adjusted bugger that he is.

Claire groans and holds out a hand to Nico to take a card from him that he is all too happy to hand over. "Can't someone play the fucking Eight of Clubs already?"

Elena gives Claire the most fake of innocent smiles. "And watch you go out _again_? No can do, friend."

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side? Us v. the colonizers? Girls v. boys? Any of this ringing a bell?"

Elena shrugs. "This is Sevens. Every woman for herself."

Well, Claire can't exactly argue with that. Playing games with Shay (and being an avid fan of Survivor, probably the only advantage to growing up American) long ago taught her not to rely on anyone, no matter how close of a friendship you had outside of the game.

So instead she looks to the guys. "Either of _you_ want to play the Eight of Clubs?"

Eliott's got a surprisingly good poker face, but Nico's giving everything away by the way that he smirks before laying down the Six of Diamonds, prolonging the block to the upper numbers for one more turn.

"Bitch, please," Claire can't help but mutter in English, making Elena crack up next to her.

-

Claire and Shay board the bus after dinner with tupperware in hand. Tonight, there were _actually_ leftovers for people to take home, for once. Since Flora and Matteo are often feeding up to eighteen people, there’s rarely anything to take home, but since Cris and Joana went out with Robbe and Sander to the movies, Matteo and Flora’s usual ratios left a little bit after for people to take home.

As Claire stands, holding onto the bar, while Shay sits on one of the seats in front of her, holding onto the food, Claire can't help but think about how much she loves this girl.

Falling in love with Shay was one of the easiest things that Claire ever did. Claire had first met Shay at one of the Clout from Grandmother’s Closet concerts, where she’d fallen for the girl in the pink wig within an instant. When she’d seen Shay the next day at the high school that Claire had just transferred to, she’d fallen even further for the girl with the braids with the blase attitude who had still smoked everyone in their AP Psych class with her intelligence and knowledge.

How could Claire _not_ have fallen for the sarcastic, intelligent, incredibly _hot_ singer who made her feel alive for the first time in years? Her relationship with her ex (well, current at the time) boyfriend, Dylan, had been limping along since her diagnosis, ready to crash and burn, and then Shay had strolled into her life and set everything on fire.

Staying in love with Shay was even easier than falling for her, though. Even after the disaster in which Shay had found out about her bipolar disorder and the hellish week that followed, Shay had decided to stay with her. Shay had decided to love Claire as much as Claire loved her, and the two of them had promised each other to work their issues together, to communicate and be honest and work things out.

And they _had_. While Claire had taken a gap year after she’d graduated, Shay got into the University of Antwerp, _with_ scholarships, and it had almost seemed like a bit of a big move- moving across the ocean to a country where Claire didn’t speak the language (she’d taken Spanish in school and was fluent in Korean and English) to follow her girlfriend of a year and a half to Antwerp to live for the next three years.

But Claire couldn’t regret her decision. A year and a half after they'd gotten together, they’d moved to Belgium. She’d picked up the language rather quickly once in Belgium, gotten into a rather good art school (the same art school as Nico, Joana, and David), and proceeded to make a few friends despite the episode she’d had a month into school. Shay had been a godsend during both the brief hypomanic episode (which had thankfully only lasted a couple of days) and the depressive episode that had followed, helping Claire out as much as possible and staying with her and helping as she could as Claire's brain tried to coax itself back to normal.

Once she was back to normal, though, Claire had caught sight of a rather interesting audition sign up poster a few weeks before winter break was set to begin, a sci-fi film about people with connected minds all around the world. It reminded her, a bit, of Shay’s parallel universes theory, of the idea of other versions of yourself being out there.

Then Shay had gotten sick right around auditions and, well, Shay would always be Claire’s number one priority, especially above small film projects that she was only a little intrigued by anyway. Claire went home directly after school to take care of Shay rather than attending the audition, marking it down in her mind to maybe ask about later. Despite that, though, it had slipped her mind and she'd forgotten about.

But then, the week back from school after New Year’s, Claire had met David in a class about the best way to capture dance on film. David, who happened to be one of the six (now seven) people who had originally set up the movie, who had reminded her about her questions about the premise. She'd asked him about it after class and it had taken his eyes widening to tick her off to something strange happening. By the end of the day she had his phone number, more answers than she knew what to do with, and the promise to bring Shay over to a meeting spot after school.

And then Claire and Shay had proceeded to meet all of their counterparts and had learned, rather quickly, that Shay's parallel universe theory _definitely_ had some weight to it as more than just a metaphor that Claire choreographed dances about.

Which had, in turn, led to Claire and Shay accidentally acquiring a new set of fourteen friends, with another two getting added on within a month as well. A bunch of boys (and a few girls) who had lived Claire and Shay's stories, with a few changes, in different countries around the world.

And now- Claire and Shay have a rather strange family, of sorts, here in Antwerp, all of these guys and girls who, despite their own cultural and personality differences, still have so much in common with Claire and Shay that it's both intense and comforting all at once.

Here in Antwerp, Shay has really close friends, an almost new squad of sorts in Matteo and Flora. And Claire, well- she's still trying to find her place among them. She's trying to find a new set of friends that she gets as well as she did Tyler, back in Austin. The two of them have been texting constantly since she and Shay moved, but it's still just the one person. It'd be nice to have her own set of friends here just like Shay does.

"So, arroz con pollo for lunch tomorrow?" Shay asks, nailing the Mexican accent. Growing up in Austin allowed her and Claire both an exposure to Mexican culture, food, and language that their more European counterparts didn't really have.

"Sounds good to me," Claire says, smiling at Shay with a smile so fond she can practically hear Tyler teasing her for it.

-

After school the next day, Claire finds herself working on the final scene of the movie, the big dance party. They've got the main actors that the team had recruited from the two art schools last semester, with Even and David there as directors, Michaël as the writer to consult with, and Claire to correct the final choreography.

They get filming wrapped up for the day and that's it. All of the scenes of the movie have been shot. The filming's done, which means that the movie can go to post-production, which is solely in Joana and Nico's hands. To be honest, Claire isn't entirely sure what is done at every stage of the filming process, but she got her art done, so she can be proud of that.

Claire and Michaël help the director boys pack up their filming equipment, as well as say goodbye and thanks to their actors- also fellow students at the two art schools, who are going to be getting class credit and exposure for this. After that they'd normally head out to their own places, but this time Even says, "Wanna celebrate the final day of filming, the four of us?"

Claire raises an eyebrow. "Do what?"

Even shrugs. "Go grab dinner or whatever?" His smile is large and carefree, easily to trust, and Claire and Shay have no plans for the evening so she texts her girlfriend where she's going and nods.

"I'm in," she says, quickly followed by David and Michaël's affirmations.

When she finds herself fifteen minutes later sitting at Sander's cafe (the group has been calling it that for ages, long before Claire even met them, due to the fact that Sander has a part-time job as a barista here), at a table with the boys, Claire has to be honest. When she'd been thinking about how she wanted a new squad to hand out with, wanted new friends to be closer to, she hadn't really predicted that it would be this easy, or that it would come from these four people. Her, David, Michaël, and Even, hanging out casually like this, talking about everything from school to movies to their partners to whatever- she hadn't expected this.

Claire welcomes it, though. Her best friend back in Austin was Tyler, who she gets to text but it's not the same as getting to hang out and talk about movies and just _see_ each other in person like this, with these group of people who know her story and what she's been through.

-

And then Flora goes missing for almost a week and everyone gets a collective punch to the stomach when they realize just how much they've been missing about what's been going on with her, about why she's been lashing out and ignoring people, about how alone she feels in a city so far away from home.

Claire can't help but feel incredibly guilty about the whole thing. She should have noticed. She _knows_ , firsthand, just how shit the mental health system is in U.S. and Mexico is, has seen Flora hanging out at Shay and Claire's apartment with Shay and Matteo. She should have noticed the signs of things going wrong.

But whoever's to blame, the nine of them end up gathering in Nico and Marti's apartment one night. All of their partners are out hanging out or studying or doing whatever, some of it planned some of it not. The important thing is that they are all here, the nine of them, Claire and her counterparts, finally sitting down to talk as friends and get to know each other a little better.

At first, it's a little bit awkward, with everyone kind of not entirely sure how to deal with Flora, how to apologize without making it uncomfortable. There are plenty of awkward starts and silences, up until the moment that Flora speaks up.

"Come the fuck on," Flora says, "I'm not fragile. I'm not glass. I have most of the same issues that the rest of you do. I'm just as human as the rest of you. I can't be part of the group if you don't treat me like I'm part of the group."

And so Claire, who has never really had trouble taking initiative, says, "I'm sorry, Flora, for not realizing what was happening. I'm from Texas, you know, and our mental health care system is probably more shit than Mexico's is. I should have realized that things were off, should have asked how you were doing. And then, with the movie- and you had a pretty fucking good point about art and cooking and everything when you were texting us. We're all interested in different kinds of art and it's easy- though pretty fucking stupid- to forget about how many different forms of art there are. Music, directing, set design, writing, photography, dance, cooking, sketching, filming- they're all totally valid forms of art and should all be included."

"I mean, just wait until the day when we meet someone who likes to sculpt," Even says, "Or design clothes. Or maybe act. Or something else, who knows? I bet those versions of us are out there, somewhere, each finding there own way to express themselves and work through their issues."

"Do you guys _really_ think that any of these apartments can hold more than the eighteen of us?" Flora says with a snort that has smiles perking up around the room. "I mean, at this point the only places all of us can fit are the pool place, the common area, outdoor parks, and gynasiums, and _maybe_ Nico and Marti's apartment if you use the bedrooms and the hallway."

"I dunno," Michaël says, "Can you _imagine_ if there are more of us out there? Other versions of us living in other countries, stories already told or yet to be told?" His eyes practically gleam at the word 'stories,' his inner writer clearly excited by the idea. "You kinda got to wonder how many of us there are, falling in love, finding their soulmate."

Claire looks at Michaël, the newest of them to find their Shay but already so in love, already having a rock-solid faith in him and Lucas' future together depsite only having been together for less than half of a year.

"All those other versions of us who get to fall in love," Joana says, that fond smile on her lips, "Get to find their soulmates."

"Speaking of which..." Eliott says, a mischievous smile on his lips that seems like it would belong better on his boyfriend's lips than his own. Claire remembers taking AP Psych, sitting side by side with Marlon of all people, and learning about how the longer you spend with someone, the more your mannerisms mirror each other, to the point where people can often tell that long-married couples are together just by the way they seem "related" because of that mirroring of mannerisms. "I was told that we would get to brag about our partners."

Flora laughs, the sound bright and unweighed down. "I don't think that's quite how it was phrased, but I'm always in."

"Why do I have the feeling that this is going to end with a duel to protect the honor of someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?" Sander asks, and Claire shrugs.

"I've got the whole Hamilton soundtrack memorized," she says, "I can totally play the Aaron Burr to someone's Hamilton."

"Same!" Nico says, offering up a high-five to Claire that she is more than happy to reciprocate. "I'll be Alexander?"

"I really hope your rapping skills are better than Isak's," Even says as Claire nods, and Flora shakes a finger.

"That is _not_ how you start off a mutual brag session about partners," she says, "Negative points to Even."

"Wait a minute," Even protests as David pulls out a sketchpad to start marking down "points." "I wasn't told that we were starting yet."

"Should've been ready, Bech Naeshim," David says, and Claire has the feeling that this is going to quite the evening, and they won't even need alcohol to do it.

-

The day that the movie's finished, everyone crams themselves in the common room at Eliott, Even, and Sander's school, squishing into bean bags and sofas and table chairs so that way they can all see the projector screen with the finished movie. The movie's going to be shown at their respective final showcases over the next week- and is actually being submitted to various film festivals- but for now, it's for the eighteen of them, watching their stories while they all eat snacks that Matteo and Flora made.

(With, of course, the rule put in place by Lucas L (and seconded by nearly all of his counterparts), that no one is allowed to make a commentary about the meaning of whatever film choices were made until _after_ the first time they'd seen it- a rule that most of them had protested but that was eventually agreed to by the combined power of all of Shay and her counterparts' pouting (the greatest source of Kryptonite to Claire and _her_ counterparts).)

But here's the trick of it all- the perspective the movie's following, the characters whose minds are connected and are experiencing parallel lives, well, it's not Claire and her counterparts. It's a story mostly based on Shay and her counterparts, their experiences, their connection to each other.

Throughout the movie, Claire spends as much time focusing on the reactions of people around the room as she does actually watching the movie.

She watches Even and Isak throughout the scenes where the main characters first meet their love interests, three girls and three boys falling head over heels in their own ways for these people they've just met. Most of the characters are painted in somewhat broad strokes so as to fit within the scope of the time limit of a film, but it's clear that the characters from Brazil- a girl named Lydia and her love interest Carmen- are based off of Even and Isak, with Carmen's references to Romeo and Juliet easy to make out and Isak's grumpy personality shining through in Lydia's character. Isak is watching, wide-eyed, as Even's directing shines through.

She watches Matteo and David throughout the biking scene as the characters travel across their various streets towards the site of their first kiss. Matteo is slumped into David's side, as always, but there's a small smile on his lips as David's scene plays out, the various kids on bikes throughout the "world," all racing towards the magical moment where they will finally connect.

She watches Elliot and Lucas L as it hits the first kiss itself, with hints of Polaris being woven in among the pool kisses. Eliott's storyboarding had made this the easiest scene in the movie to shoot, with the movement from the darkness of a tunnel outside of the pool to the lights above the pool nearly exactly paralleling his first short film in _Polaris_. Lucas smiles at the moment that their lips meet for the first time and Eliott pulls him a little closer, Eliott's fingers playing with Lucas' hair, and it's been years since they first got together but their intimacy hasn't changed since their first kiss.

She watches Elena and Flora, who has been going through a rougher patch of her life than any of the rest of them, who had the least involvement on the movie of any of Claire's counterparts. Flora seems to be content to curl up with her girlfriend on one of the beanbags and watch, smiling throughout everything until the moment where the "hotel scene," as they've christened it, hits, where the first date after the first kiss (they'd decided to remove the whole cheating/ex-boy/girlfriend plotline from the story to streamline it, even if it had been so important in real life) leads into the worst moment of their lives. She watches as Elena squeezes Flora's hand as if in reassurance as things go south.

She watches Nico and Marti as the "you are not alone" scene hits, following the emotions they've talked about most rather than anyone else's. The "you are not alone" scene that had been written into the film was one of closure, of contentment, of completion, rather than a desperate dash towards a rescue. It managed to capture the "what happens after he saves her? she saves him right back" without getting too dramatic or depressing, with the main characters heading to reassure their partners that everything would be alright.

(Claire really has to give Nico props for his music choices for all of the scenes. From "Slip Away" for the first kiss to his rather well-executed score throughout to the use of "Dreamers" by Soley for the "you are not alone" scene- a rather strange choice that somehow just _worked_ \- it all compliments everyone else's artistic choices really well.)

She watches Joana and Cris during the "minute by minute" scene, where Joana had stripped away a lot of the post-production effects for a lot of the rest of the movie and had just the scene bathed in sunlight, leaving the characters bare in this, the most important moment of the relationship, the moment where everything finally settles into place and you can see the love interests finally feeling okay with themselves for the first time in a very long time. Cris has Joana pulled into a hug that Joana is all too happy to return, Cris' fingers holding tight around Joana's denim jacket.

She watches Lucas VDH and Michaël as the characters finally meet up in real life for the first time, finally realize that all of them are connected, and she sees Lucas VDH's proud smile at Michaël's writing. Lucas VDH leans over and whispers in Michaël's ear, actually getting a thumbs up from Michaël at whatever he's said, followed by a quick kiss on the cheek.

Then the final scene hits- the one that Claire choreographed- and Claire looks at Shay. Shay, who's curled up into Claire's side, head on Claire's shoulder, surreptitiously brushing away tears from the "minute by minute" scene. Claire remembers that day as well as anything else, the day when she'd been curled up in Claire's bed after they'd reconnected during the "you are not alone" moment (theirs had been less quiet than some of their counterparts had described and had involved a lot more shouting, kind of like what David and Matteo described), halfway out of a depressive episode, when Shay had told her, point-blank, no uncertainty in her voice, that she would be there for Claire no matter how things got, that no matter what happened they would be there together.

And since that night, they've both held their end of the agreement, still playing "Shay and Claire, minute by minute" even years later. Through disagreements and bipolar episodes and shittons of medical homework and rocky moves, they've worked things out and stayed together. They've held true to promises and agreements, to that tear-stained kiss after Shay had met Claire at the pool where they'd first kissed, to that promise to save each other.

When it finishes, the chords of "Shine A Light" by Banners growing stronger as the scene shifts into the credits, there's a round of loud, uproarious applause from Flora, Shay, and all of Shay's counterparts.

"Alright," Even says, turning to look at everyone, hands clenched in Isak's, "What did y'all think about it all?"

"You know what?" Lucas says, tears already in his eyes, "I think I might cry."

"Already there," Marti says, looking at Nico with the biggest, proudest smile on his lips and tears falling from his eyes. Nico leans in and kisses his cheek, a gentle gesture that Claire knows never really happens outside of safe spaces like this.

"That was fucking awesome," Matteo says quietly, "I mean, I don't know anything about art and all, but that was kinda perfect."

David rolls his eyes, leans in, and kisses Matteo's cheek as Flora says: "Yes you _do_ know about art, Matteo, how many times to I have to tell you that cooking is an art form?"

"It's a science!" comes a chorus from Lucas L, Marti, Isak, and Cris in unison, which kicks off a rather entertaining and decently intense argument between the four of them, Even, Eliott, and David, as to where cooking should fall- an argument that both Flora and Matteo seem to find rather amusing, as do most others in the room.

Claire, in turn, finds herself smiling as she turns to Shay. "So," she says, unable to keep a little bit of nervousness from seeping into her voice, "What'd you think?"

And Shay stares at her for just a moment, their eyes locking, something steady and knowing between them, before she leans forward and pulls Claire in for a kiss that's warm and sweet, tasting like Shay's strawberry chapstick and nostalgia and happiness.

"It was fucking amazing," Shay says as she pulls back, smile proud as it was when she, Marlon, and Tyler all attended Claire's dance recital at the end of senior year. Claire remembers them all cheering her, rowdy and excited and giving a tiny standing ovation for each of the four performances that Claire was involved in.

Claire had never had people so proud of her before that moment. Her parents were distant and it was hard to impress them- Shay, Marlon, and Tyler, on the other hand- they'd _celebrated_ her and her accomplishments, in a way that Claire had never gotten before.

Tonight, with everyone so proud of the movie and the work that was done on it- it's like that night all over again, with someone proud of Claire for the art she's put out, and there's something warm blooming in Claire's chest that she wouldn't give up for the world.

-

Claire is not entirely sure how she ended up going out with Nico, Marti, Lucas VDH, Michaël, and her girlfriend to a bar , but she can't say that she's not having lots of fun hanging out with the flatmates and Michaël.

What she does know is a few things: one, that they make quite the interesting picture as a group. Nico and Marti are in their hoodies over top of their respective henley and grandpa button-up. Lucas VDH and Michaël are the fashionable couple they are in short-sleeved button-ups (a rather wild yellow-blue pattern and solid purple respectively, a combination which shouldn't work but somehow _does_ ), with Lucas in his usual jeans and sneakers and Michaël in slacks and loafers, casual chic next to professional chic. And then there's Claire in leggings and a sweater dress with Shay in that _lovely_ teal sweater and pair of low-cut jeans Claire absolutely loves.

And of course, two, that she knows she's going to win at their game of pool, no matter what anyone else tries to do.

"Alright, then," Lucas VDH says once they all have their drinks and are standing around the pool table. "Teams of three? Marti, Shay, and I versus the other three?"

"Oh, then we're totally going to win," Nico says with a charming smile to both Michaël and Claire, who actually played plenty of pool back in Austin with Marlon, Tyler, and Shay.

Marti rolls his eyes at his boyfriend. "You wish, you asshole," he says, speaking the word _asshole_ like it's the fondest term of endearment in the world, and Nico turns to look at him, fixing the full force of his smile on Marti, all of that love and fondness fixed on the man he loves more than anything.

Their pinkies brush and it's nothing compared to the full-on makeout sessions that Lucas and Michaël or Shay and Claire have in public, but it still feels remarkably intimate. Nico and Marti smile at each other and it's somehow one of the sappiest things that Claire has ever witnessed, the looks so full of love and affection, and she has to look up and over at Shay, Lucas, and Michaël to not feel like she's looking in on something.

"They're always like this, don't worry," Lucas says with fond smile that belies his exasperated words.

"You have to live with _that_?" Shay says with a small snort as she sets up the on the table, letting Nico and Marti trade fond, teasing comments without moving their hands from sitting next to each other on the rim of the pool table. "My condolences."

"I think it's sweet," Michaël says, and Lucas rolls his eyes before leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend.

"Of course you do, lieve."

"Anyway," Shay says, and snaps her fingers to get all of the boys' attention. "Time to start. Who's breaking?"

"You can break," Nico instantly says, and Claire has the feeling that it's half chivalry, half not wanting to move away from Marti.

Claire, however, can't really focus much on wondering about Nico's motivation as Shay is leaning forward to shoot the cue into a ball, making her sweater ride up and letting Claire get the smallest glimpse of the skin that is more distracting than anything Nico could possibly say.

(Despite the fact that they literally _live_ together, Claire can still be easily distracted by Shay even after them being together for a few years. Can you really blame her, though? Claire has a rather hot girlfriend that she's utterly and completely in love with. Getting distracted is okay.)

"Oh, this is going to be _interesting_ ," Michaël says with a snort as Shay's hit sends the 9-ball into the furthest pocket. "With you guys all distracting each other."

Marti arches an eyebrow. "As if you're not going to get distracted, too."

"Well, not as easily as you guys," Michaël says with a shrug.

Lucas, on the other hand, is just smirking. "Do you really think that I'm not that distracting, lieve?"

"I just meant that, you know-" Michaël is biting his lip, a nervous/embarassed tic of his, as Nico steps forward, finally breaking away from Marti to take his turn with his cue at the pool. "I'm ace and, just- I mean that yes, you're distracting, lief, of course you are, I love you, I just meant that all of you would be staring and-"

Shay snorts. "You should probably stop talking because you're digging your own grave, Michaël."

Claire laughs and she finds herself thinking about these people, her friends, about how maybe she doesn't need a small squad like Shay has with Matteo and Flora but maybe just people who understand her, who she can easily joke around with. Maybe smaller combinations of the larger group is enough for her, smaller nights like this, groups of friends that she can so easily spend time with and get to know better, one on one, three on three.

"Fuck yeah!" Marti shouts, and Claire turns around to see him sink in a ball right after his boyfriend missed. "Now _that_ is what I'm talking about."

Now, that just won't do. "Hand me a cue," Claire says, setting down her drink on the rim of the table. Nico hands her the cue, smiling at what she's sure is a rather intimidating look in her eyes, and Claire sets the cue down, lining up the shot. She waits just long enough to catch Marti and Lucas' disbelieving but curious expressions, then leans over and sinks a shot that sends two different balls of her team's careening into the pockets. She then takes the second shot given to her by the set of rules that the six of them are playing by and proceeds to sink a different ball in, putting her team up 3-2 to Shay's.

" _Now_ I think this game is off to a good start," Claire says, smirking at a gaping Marti and Lucas as she hands the cue off to a grinning Michaël.

"Nice shot, babe," Shay says with a wink, the only person who's played pool with her before.

"Why thank you, darling."

-

They get the response back from the film festival a few weeks later. It pings into eight email inboxes around Antwerp, arriving at around 7 p.m. on an ordinary Thursday evening, when Shay and Claire are in the kitchen putting away the last of their dishes after dinner. Claire, who has been waiting for the email, feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and immediately whips it out.

"I can't read it," Claire says, shoving her phone into Shay's face. "The rejection will sound nicer coming from you."

Shay arches a disbelieving eyebrow as she puts away the last plate and takes Claire's phone from her. "Really?"

"I love you, dear, anything coming from your mouth will be at least somewhat nicer."

Shay still looks doubtful, but there's a fond little smile on her lips anyway so Claire counts it as a win. "Alright, then," she says, and clicks open the email. She takes an _agonizingly_ long ten seconds to read it, and then sighs and looks up at Claire with a small frown. Claire's stomach drops to her feet with disappointment, the hit somehow worse than any she's felt before. Sure, she's been rejected before, but this isn't just her work- it's all of her counterparts'. It's all of their stories, distilled into film form, something artistic and creative and _personal_ to this whole group of people, and-

But then Shay grins and flips the phone around, showing an email to which the first line is _We're proud to inform you that-_

"OH MY GOD!" Claire shouts, flinging her arms around her girlfriend, sending her phone crashing to the ground but she doesn't care as Shay clutches her back, shouting right with her as they jump up and down in their kitchen. "WE GOT IN! WE GOT THE FUCK IN!"

"HOLY SHIT CONGRATULATIONS!" Shay shouts right back, smile the widest Claire as ever seen in, face as alight with excitement as it was the day she got her acceptance from the University of Antwerp.

And Claire can't resist the urge to lean in and pull her girlfriend into a long, searing kiss that Shay returns with a passion that only ends when Shay's phone buzzes with an incoming phone call- from Flora, of all people.

"Answer it answer it answer it," Claire insists, and Shay is more than happy to give Claire one last peck on the cheek before clicking the _answer call_ button, turning on speakerphone in the process.

"So?" Flora asks, voice breathless, "Did they get it?"

"Well..." Shay says, probably planning on dragging it out like the snake she is, but Claire rolls her eyes.

"WE GOT IN!" she shouts, and she can hear Flora and Elena screaming in Spanish down on the other end- Spanish that her and Shay can both speak pretty well, and Claire nearly laughs at the number of expletives currently being shouted down the phone line at her. On Claire's phone, the groupchat for the entire group is lighting up with invitations to meet at the pool for a meeting/celebration/party and Claire cannot believe that here, in this Flemish city that she wasn't even sure if she was ready to move to a year ago, she has found a family and a home with a bunch of people who are literally cheering on the piece of art that she helped create with them.

Later, Claire will meet up with everyone. Later, she'll have to text Tyler and tell him the news. Later- god, later so much is going to happen.

Right now, though, Claire kisses Shay again even as Flora and Elena continue to celebrate their own way on the other side of the phone. Shay sets down the phone on the counter and pulls Claire in a little closer, giving them a moment for the two of them before all of the group celebrations go down.

Because the thing is: Claire loves her friends, here and back in America. She cares about all of them. She's so happy to have a family.

But at the end of the day, the love of Claire's life is Shay, and there is nothing that Claire loves more than getting to celebrate moments like this with just the two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this gave a backstory to the last of my new Evens! (If you count Flora's groupchat fic as her backstory, which I kinda do.) I hope you all liked her as much as I did.
> 
> (Also, did that scene with Shay, Claire, Nico, Marti, Lucas VDH, and Michaël on a triple date happen ENTIRELY because of the Skam It trailer dropping and me feeling all of the emotions? Yes, yes it did. I'm a weak bitch who can't wait for Skam It to come back.)
> 
> Also, I've determined OHN songs for Lucas VDH/Michaël and Shay/Claire. Does anyone want one for Flora and Elena?
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment if you liked this fic or if you liked Claire! I tried my best to give Shay the Even she deserved and I hope that I accomplished that well.


End file.
